{I Steal From My Friends and TMI}

My friend Carolyn is brilliant. So I stole from her.

And now she's gonna know.

>>><<<

 

Because the internet really needs to know...

There are few sounds more comforting to me than a bathroom fan.

Because I have this thing. With using the bathroom. I prefer all sounds to be muffled. As in, if someone is standing within ear shot of the bathroom that I'm occupying, save for the door being closed and a general understanding of natural processes, they would have no idea what was going on in there. They wouldn't hear a thing. Not a trickle. Nada. [Immaturity probably has something to do with this, but I'll just insist it's because I'm SO lady-like. Genteel, even.]

 

When nature calls and I'm not in the comfort of my own home, there are a few things that never fail to bring on a healthy dose of anxiety. Like a door that doesn't lock in a home filled with children. Or a lack of a bathroom fan to muffle anything that might need to be muffled. No toilet paper or being almost out of toilet paper. No soap. Bathroom location in relation to other human beings. 

 

When David and I were first dating, we went to visit some of his friends that were in the process of building a house while living in the house. The bathroom was upstairs in what was technically a loft because there were only studs. So, when I had to pee, I realized that, despite the sheets hanging around the toilet for "privacy", I would basically be peeing in a large room with two strangers and my new boyfriend. Anxiety. So naturally, I asked them all to go outside. I asked these people, whom I had never met before, to get out of their own house so they wouldn't hear me pee.

 

Carolyn's bathroom is also upstairs. But there are walls. And ways to muffle any sound.  And occasionally, when I'm at her house, I use her bathroom. And in that bathroom, for all to see, sits a bowl filled with quartered wash rags.

 

My guess is that she uses them to remove her make up. Which is brilliant. Because I spend at least 2-3 minutes every single day having an internal conversation about how much HATE the cotton rounds that I use to remove my eye makeup.

 

So I bought some soft, fluffy, white rags and I quartered them and threw them in a jar. And those internal conversations now have shifted to much more productive things.

Like Netflix. And how much I'll love my life on May 26th: Arrested Development.

Welcome, Spring!

SPRING. Despite the fact that yesterday was a sunny 80 degrees and today's temperature in rapidly dropping into the 30s, it IS spring. There are baby bunnies//outdoor birthday parties//annual town festivals (with bed races, a lady with her cat on a leash, tooled leather belts for "brothers")//and men becoming reacquainted with their own personal grill-stance to prove it.

 

baby bunny cuddles

birthday party jam

mini band in the making

mini band close up
 

birthday boy, Chris-Mr. F's little bro

antique town

bed race prep

cat on a leash

leather tooled belt...complete with some pretty fierce eagles

Mr. F and his "brothers" now have matching belts (Sons of Otis Malone)

Grill time is serious. It requires the appropriate gear. Vintage Branson tshirt. Uncle Si tea glass. Sunglasses from NASCAR.
Our back yard needs some serious attention. But not yours. So, just focus on the man at the grill.

A Weekend and An Annual Corndog

Our charming, antique town's annual Dogwood Festival begins today. There are many reasons that I happen to love the Dogwood Festival-chief among them being that it is the one time each year that I allow myself to eat a friggin' corndog. Mr. F and I typically try to stay away from pork (mainly I'm driving that one because Mr. F loves bacon...in fact, he has been known to say that "Bacon is the duck tape of food. It fixes everything.") but every now and then, there is a green light for us to dig on some swine. To each his own (bacon).

Mr. F and his "brothers" are playing several times throughout the weekend (The Sons of Otis Malone) at the festival and at one of the best restaurants in our area, 28 Springs. 

Typically, I loathe busy weekends. But this one is full of things that make me happy. There's a lot to do, but I actually don't mind the: 

Laundry to do//Dishes to wash//Groceries to buy

because of the:

Parents to see//Farmer's Market to pillage//Corndogs to eat//Dirt to haul and prep (for the)//Vegetables to plant (so the)//Garden can get to growing//Project Runway finale to watch//Mitford book to read.

Fix V

{Fix V}

Fix V was magical. I was excited about everything in the box. But I only kept one thing.
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Positives: Dress. Chevron Print.
Negatives: Not flattering once it was on my body.


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I'm cheap when it comes to jewelry, so I passed on these earrings.

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Positives: LOVED the print. Flowy. Summery.

Negatives: Need a bit more fabric in the um, chest area. I was super sad to see this go.

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This one did NOT photograph well on the hanger, so I just took a shot of the style card.

Positives: LOVED the color. LOVED the print. LOVED the way the back was a wrap.

Negatives: The wrap was saggy and didn't fit well. I was super sad to see this go too.

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       And finally, my keeper.

            I have never loved a pair of jeans more.

Sign up to get your first fix here (and I get a little summthin summthin out of the deal) or click on my StitchFix "button" on the left-hand side of the blog.
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Disclosure:  I am not affiliated in any way with Stitch Fix. I wasn't compensated in any way and was not asked to write this review. I purchased the items with my own money. Referral Link included.

Spurts of Spring & A Recipe

We've been busy. Spring is here (kind of-depending on the weather), which means that I am becoming a brand new person. A nicer person instead of a grumpy gills. A person that likes to be outside and move around instead of behaving like a bear in hibernation. But it isn't just the weather. There are some just-in-general-good-things going on around here.

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We have a new addition to our home that makes mornings much easier to tolerate.

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The local drive-thru safari has exotic baby animals that are available for cuddles.

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 I ate spaghetti for breakfast the other day. Blew my co-workers minds. It was a slow day.

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There have been bonfires with the Mr. and old friends.

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And day hikes.

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And food. LOTS of good food cooked at home.

Like orange chicken.

Avocado enchiladas.

Paleo pizza bites.

 Farmer's Market flatbread pizzas.

Crab fettuccini.

Apricot, almond, coconut bars.

 

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And now, a recipe.

 

{Apricot, Almond, & Coconut Bars}

 

• 1.5 C dried apricots
• 1/2 C almonds
• 2 T unsweetened coconut
• dark chocolate (As much or as little as you want)
• a pinch of sea salt

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1. Dump apricots, almonds, 1 tablespoon coconut, and a pinch of salt into your food processor and pulse until finely ground.
2. Line a 9x5-inch loaf pan with parchment paper, leaving an inch overhang on all sides.
3. Dump the chopped-up mixture into the pan and press firmly to form a rectangle (I fold the excess parchment paper over and press everything down with my hand). This helps the bars stick together.
4. Remove contents from the loaf pan using the parchment paper.
5. Melt your dark chocolate (I recommend 90% cacao if you can find it).
6. Drizzle mixture with chocolate and sprinkle with remaining tablespoon of coconut.
7. Refrigerate and leave until firm, about 15 minutes.
8. Slice as you need or pre-slice and put in the snack sized ziplock baggies.

 

These are now a "staple" in our house. I make a double batch every time and stick them in the freezer. They are fabulous for breakfast with a cup of coffee or as an afternoon snack.

 

(from Whole Living magazine: http://www.wholeliving.com/172998/chocolate-apricot-nut-bars)

Most of Fix IV

{Most of Fix Four}

Fix Four made its glorious appearance on my antique front porch in mid-January. And now it's
late-March. And I'm just now writing about it. Because Photoshop is involved. And Mr. F has to remind me over and over how to create a new layer, use the lasso tool, select the inverse, delete, make a new layer, type out text, make a new layer, type out text, make a new layer, type out text, make a circle, fill it, save, flatten image, and save again as a jpg file. And I'm so tired after editing one picture that one picture is all I get done in one sitting. Which is why I need to be reminded every time I sit down to edit.
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The first thing out of the box was a scoop-neck black top. Great fit, but I don't like scoop necks that much. Too foo-foo for me. Return to sender. No picture. Because I can't find the one I took. Anywhere. But that is one less picture to edit. Silver lining.
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 They sent something else but I can't remember what it was and I can't find a picture of it anywhere.  Whatever it was, I didn't keep it. It was probably cute. I probably wished it looked better on me, sucked in a bit, turned to the side and still couldn't pull it off. 

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When I saw this dress in the box, I was SO excited. The fabric was perfect. The color, a pretty burnt orange/red. I absolutely LOVED this dress. But I needed more room for my...um, chest, and I just couldn't make it work. Bummed is an understatement.

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This blue tube scarf was so soft, but I actually have more scarves that I can manage to wear right now, so I reluctantly sent it back. Note to STITCHFIX: I may or may not have rubbed my face all over it before I put it in the bag to return.....

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And finally, a winner. I requested tops that I could wear with "skinny" jeans (just because they are called skinny jeans doesn't mean wearing them makes you look skinny-hence the quotation marks) and brown boots. And this maroon tunic fit the bill. It gets wrinkley pretty easily, but a quick trip to the dryer fixes it right up. 

 

Sign up to get your first fix here (and I get a little summthin summthin out of the deal) or click on my StitchFix "button" on the left-hand side of the blog.
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Disclosure:  I am not affiliated in any way with Stitch Fix. I wasn't compensated in any way and was not asked to write this review. I purchased the items with my own money. Referral Link included

I Made Mascara. And Faux Day at the Beach Hair.

There are days that I actually accomplish things that I've been meaning to do or try.
Like the time that I made mascara and knock-off Bumble and Bumble surf spray.
And I felt pretty good about myself.

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Until I used that homemade mascara. I don't know what the actual heck happened, and maybe I missed something, but I couldn't get it to "behave" as I expect a mascara to. Contacts and oil-coated eyelashes made for a day of cloudy vision, and the "liquid" mascara splattered all over my forehead and cheeks when I was applying it. So, I'm sticking with my usual until I can tweak the recipe and figure it out.

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But the surf spray restored my DIY confidence. I got to re-use the bottle and it "behaved" perfectly. Because of the hair gel I used in the recipe, the knock-off smelled WAY better than the original.
(Using surf spray is the equivalent of getting my hair wet in the ocean and letting it air dry...which magically produces the best.hair.day.ever for me every single time).

 And since the beach is a LONG way from our antique house,
I'm happy to have a product that can stand-in from time to time.

I Made Yogurt

Well...my crockpot made yogurt.

And it did so well, I'll just delegate this task its way anytime there is yogurt making to be done.

 

I saw a Martha Stewart recipe for making yogurt that looked pretty simple. Except for the part about getting it to a certain temperature...which would require me to pay more attention to the process than I would want to. It's amazing what can "turn me off" when it comes to recipes. Simple things like USING A THERMOMETER. Deal breakers.

 

I mentioned my thrilling weekend plans (i.e., making yogurt) to one of my co-workers (efficiency is her forte) and she told me that there was a MUCH simpler way to do it and sent me this link.

 

All I had to do was turn the crockpot on for two hours and then off for three, take off the lid, stir in the "starter," put the lid back on, and wrap the crock pot lovingly with a blanket. And go to bed, which was the easiest part by far. And thirteen hours later, the yogurt was ready to go.

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His favorite flavor add ins: Strawberries, Vanilla, and Honey

Her favorite flavor add ins: Bananas and Honey

How I Alienated the Author of a Book You Should Read

I've written very little fan mail in my lifetime. A letter or two to Jonathan Taylor Thomas at most.

But I've written one fan letter/email so far in my adult life. To Georgia Pellegrini, the author of Food Heroes. In a carefully crafted email, I told her about my favorite chapters and told her that I appreciated her "voice."

And, unlike JTT, Georgia wrote back. Thanked me for my email and told me that I was a good writer. And I was shocked. I mean...she's a big deal. A real author. A legit blogger with sponsors. On TV. Like, you-can-sign-up-to-spend-a-weekend-hunting,-cooking,-and-being-outdoorsy-with-her-but-it-will-cost-you-at-least-SEVEN-THOUSAND-DOLLARS kind of big deal.

So I wrote her back. Which is why, should I stumble across a spare $7,000, I will most likely be declined the option to attend a weekend with her. Pretty sure I'm on the "banned" list.

It's all a misunderstanding, really. I explained to her how surprised I was that she wrote back. Because she's such a big deal. And then I somehow fit in a story about the time I saw Danny Glover in the airport. About how no one noticed him. Except for me. And how I didn't make a big deal about it. How we made eye contact and I simply smiled and nodded. Because (and I quote) "I'm the type of person that upon noticing a celebrity in the airport makes it a point NOT to freak out, assuming that my non-reaction would be the most appreciated."  To illustrate how "cool" I am with corresponding with high profile pen pals. And how "I had a five minute conversation with myself prior to responding" because I didn't want her to think I was one of "those" creepy people who attach themselves to celebrities and pretend we're BFF. This was the subject matter of the bulk of my response to her. Explaining how I'm NOT creepy or strange. IDIOT.

She didn't write back. And I don't blame her.

 A perfectly normal person doesn't write emails that are mostly about their own normalcy.

Yet I press on. I'm no fair-weather-fan. The fact remains that the girl can write a good book. There are no vampires. No shades of grey. But loads of passion. Everyday people doing things the way they've been done for years. Passionately preserving a way of life. She has a way of describing people-their daily lives, their stories-in a way that leaves you feeling as if you were the one spending afternoons foraging, beekeeping, and cooking with your newest and dearest friends. You'll want to meet a potato farmer, eat real butter, and taste tamales from Arkansas. And then you'll most likely want to write Georgia an email to let her know how much you enjoyed her book.

 I advise you- be cool.

Resist the urge to be a spaz and instead, show her how much you appreciate her writing by buying and reading her newest book, Girl Hunter, and planning to buy and read her next ones after that. She'll feel appreciated. 

Trust me-it's akin to a simple nod when making eye contact with a celebrity at the airport. 

The One Where We're Sick

I'm a bit of an idiot. I mean, I actually thought we wouldn't get the flu. Like we were above it or something. It's remarkable how effortlessly I entertain and adopt absolutely ridiculous notions. Like being above the flu. Who's above the flu? I mean, where/when/how/why did that idea take root in my brain?

Ignorance.

Unfounded pride/arrogance.

They're BFF when it comes to this one.

The doctor confirmed that Mr. F did, in fact, have type "A" influenza. He is achy, has a fever, is coughing up some gawd-awful stuff, and has been in bed for two days. The doctor also informed me that Mr. F's diagnosis means that I have it too, even though my symptoms haven't really "presented" yet. Pretty much guilty by association. So the nice, Duke-Educated-Doctor-Man called in tamiflu for the both of us. I dropped Mr. F at home to resume contaminating every inch of our bedroom and drove to the local mom-&-pop pharmacy to pick up the prescriptions [because of the two of us, I'm the only one that doesn't have symptoms that are markedly zombie-like].

And I was reminded why I love mom-&-pops in antique towns like ours.

That extra mile. Service with a smile. Southern accents.

As I finished checking out [note: this was the first time in my life that I was consciously thankful for insurance...each prescription would have been-CHOKE-over $100 without it, which was not in our budget], the cashier gave us a "Get Well Soon" bag. Contents: A bottle of water. Vitamin C lozenges. Chapstick. Hand sanitizer. Raspberry Emergen-C. & a small package of Kleenex [not the best kind ever, but still...]

"They" say pride comes before the fall. In our case, the fall is the flu.
I can safely say that the flu gives pride a swift kick to the shins....points....and laughs. It channels Mr. Burns from the Simpsons....sitting there...drumming his fingers and eerily saying "Excellent" while you're down for the count. 

But little things like "Get Well Soon" bags temporarily replace feeling yucky and sucky with warm fuzzies. And those suckers sure are soothing.

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*please note: My husband is very intelligent. That being said, I have a confession: I chuckle every time I type "Mr. F" because of the sound bit that automatically runs through my mind.
If you are an Arrested Development fan, you'll get it.

I Made Crackers

 Goal: Healthy crackers that don't taste like cardboard with a hint of grit and nothingness.

Result: I succeeded in making GIANT, tasty, healthy crackers and here is the recipe {accompanied by a much more appetizing picture.}

I mean, I could have gone rogue and divided the dough into smaller portions and stuff, but I didn't feel like it. The first time through a recipe, I like to do what I'm told. [Read: I'm what's known as a "Rule follower." To a fault. Mr. F loves and hates this about me.]

The One Where We Went to NASCAR

Mr. F's boss likes to give "experiences" to his employees when they have done well. 

So, he gave us two VIP pit passes to a NASCAR race at the Texas Motor Speedway.

Before we left, my brother and his wife and kids came for a visit so we got to fit in some quality uncle/aunt time with the kids. Holy CRAP do I love those kids.

Like every.single.cell of my body screams it.

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After we hit the road, our first stop was Escape. Peach bubble tea with pearl.

   

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We had some time to kill so we decided to check out Canton. Wow. 

We didn't buy a single thing. Except for two bottles of water.

So overwhelming. And quite a mix. Good stuff. Crap. And stuff that was not OK.

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On the way back to where we were staying, we made a b-line to Wylie, TX and had lunch at Chiloso.

They gave us a free order of Bella Blanca dip (jalapenos, ranch, and lime) when he found out that we made a special trip to eat there. So nice! I could drink that stuff. Seriously. So good.

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Then we headed to Watters Creek and bought some chocolates from Sublime.

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And then to NASCAR.
Everything leading up to the race was fun. There was a "circus" in the middle of the track with carnival games, fake Siamese twins, a fake bearded lady, and really classy prizes like coozies and drawstring backpacks. We scored two pairs of ubber-cool cheap sunglasses. And then the race started. The first few laps were pretty impressive. My cousin was very thoughtful to give us earplugs. I didn't think we would need them at first, but once the lead car lapped the others it was a constant roar and we were SO glad we had them. But after a while, I lost interest. Around and around and around. I couldn't imagine sitting there for 500 laps.


Things taste better in a mason jar. And with the amount of mustaches, American flag tshirts, and pickup trucks, lemonade seemed an appropriate choice.

 

 It was a big deal. I mean, most of the cast of Duck Dynasty was there, which is the obvious standard by which one should measure the big deal-ness of anything or anyone.

 

 

I can honestly say that a NASCAR experience is not something Mr. F and I would have ever done on our own. I don't think we've converted to being die-hard NASCAR fans, but we really enjoyed it. It's not every day you get to cross something off of your bucket list that wasn't on it in the first place.